Pizza Two Ways

Required knowledge so you don’t lose your mind reading this:
Our family does best on a gluten-free diet. Noah requires an even more stringent diet, a grain-free diet.
Gluten-free = no wheat, barley, or rye
Grain-free = no wheat, barley, or rye, AND no corn, oats, or rice.

Remember those awful story problems in math? I feel like that is my life.

Andy, Becky, Anna, Noah, and Ethan want to eat pizza. Andy needs a gluten-free crust and regular cheese. Becky can have either a gluten-free or grain-free crust, but she needs goat cheese. Anna can have any crust and any cheese. Noah needs a grain-free crust and goat cheese. Ethan also eats goat cheese, but he needs a gluten-free crust. How many pizzas does their paid chef need to make?

Extra Credit: Andy, Noah, and Ethan only like pepperoni. Becky and Anna like pepperoni, green peppers, and roasted tomatoes. Ethan and Noah will pick them off if necessary. Green peppers cannot touch Andy’s pieces, because he WILL taste the drops of pepper juice they leave behind when the chef quietly pulls them off. How should the chef top the pizzas?

Oh wait, the paid chef does not exist.

You would think Andy going gluten-free means I finally can cook one thing that everyone will eat. Nope!

I could try to convince Andy to eat a grain-free pizza crust, but this man prefers to eat at minimum, half of a pizza. That is expensive. Plus, let’s be honest. There is no grain-free pizza crust that tastes even remotely as good as regular pizza crust. There is no surer way for Andy to quit gluten-free than to give him a grain-free crust and say, “Here’s your new pizza, honey!”

So we stick to gluten-free pizza crust for Andy and grain-free for Noah. Anna and I eat either one, depending on which male is inhaling his pizza the fastest. Ethan gets the gluten-free since he can’t handle too many nuts.

(Thinking this stuff through reminds me of Math Meets in high school. For some insane reason, I always got selected to go to those. Then I’d sit there reading word problems 15 times, making a guess, and embarrassing myself by getting an awful score. Sorry, Lakeside Math Team, I really should have resigned.)

You can buy gluten-free pizza crusts. They sell them in the freezer section and gluten-free section of most grocery stores. However, they easily run $6 for a regular size crust. Sometimes they sell pizza crust mixes. Those cost about $4. Making the recipe below costs me about $3.

Random notes of interest: Dominoes offers a small gluten-free pizza for $10. It is mediocre at best. If you’re in Milwaukee, Transfer has excellent gluten-free pizza. If you’re in Chicago, Gino’s has the worst gluten-free pizza I have ever tasted. If you’re in Crete, I recommend Aurelio’s gluten-free pizza.

Back to making pizza. We eat pizza at least once a week. It is a staple in Andy’s life. It is a requirement for his happiness. So finding a good gluten-free pizza crust was the very first thing I needed to master.

I’ve found one that meets his approval.

Our choices for pizza:

Gluten-free: The Best Gluten-Free Pizza Crust

Grain-free: Best Ever Crispy and Flaky Grain-Free Pizza Crust

I make a basic pizza sauce.

Then comes the cheese and toppings part! I’ll save the cow vs. goat cheese debate for another day.

Plenty of pizza means we are a happy family. It also means I can save some to put in Andy’s lunch instead of his beloved turkey sandwiches.

(Note: Noah was gluten-free, NOT grain-free, for almost 3 years. So I have a good amount of experience baking gluten-free. If you are new to this, I feel for you. It can seem overwhelming and impossible. Buy the premade crust or mix and don’t feel bad about it! You can even find gluten free Amys or Udis frozen pizzas! It takes time to learn the small things, like that your gluten-free pizza crust may be sticky and more like muffin-batter rather than a nice, smooth ball of dough. )


One thought on “Pizza Two Ways

  1. Becky, you were selected for math meet because you are incredibly smart and as your latest blog said “a recovering Type A perfectionist” – welcome to the family! Your blog is hilarious. I laugh out loud at least 3 times per post. Who thought gluten-free and grain-free posts could be funny??

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